Mindset - what on earth is that?

Mindset – what on earth is that?

Everyone in the entrepreneur-space seems to be talking about mindset.  This seems to be the ‘thing’ that determines ‘success’ or ‘failure’.  If you have come across any life coaches, or business coaches, or sports coaches, they are always going on about mindset.  I go on about mindset!  So, what is it?

I’m going to have a look at what mindset actually is (how would I recognise it?), what is it for, and do we actually need it?   Is it an optional add-on to life like a Fitbit (I like my Fitbit, but it’s not exactly a necessity), or the ability to bake your own bread?  Or is it more than that.  Obviously I think it’s more than that, otherwise I wouldn’t be going on about it so much!

The dictionary definition of mindset is “a set of attitudes held by someone” (Oxford Dictionaries), or  “ an established set of attitudes, esp. regarded as typical of a particular group’s social or cultural values;  the outlook, philosophy or values of a person;  (now also more generally) frame of mind, attitude, disposition.  (Oxford English Dictionaries). 

When I think about mindset, I see it as the dominant beliefs and attitudes we hold, often unconsciously (without realising it) that shape our experiences and our thoughts.  So, the way we look at life (our mindset) shapes how we experience life.  This is mind-blowing!  It takes mindset out of the realm of philosophy (vaguely interesting) into the realm of immediately significant, because it has an effect on how we experience life right now.  That means that whatever we experience in life, whatever it is we go through, or whatever happens to us, whatever we make happen in life, whatever we set in motion, we experience it differently according to our mindset.  Mindset affects every single decision we make in life. 

So, how would we recognise something as ‘mindset’?  Whenever we come across an underlying belief about the world or about us, that is an example of mindset.  Our beliefs about how the world is, or about our place in the world, or about how the world should be, are all parts of our mindset.  If we believe that people are born inherently good, that is a mindset which shapes how we respond to or anticipate people’s behaviours.  If we believe that people are born inherently bad, that is equally a mindset which shapes how we respond to them or anticipate their behaviours.  Our responses will be different in the first case, compared with the second case.

My mother held a mindset that women should not work or earn their own living.  It was a culturally conditioned mindset, and it held that it was ‘a man’s world’ and women’s place was to be dependent on their husband/father/brother and support him in whatever it was he was doing.  She believed it was utterly shameful for a woman to work for her own living and that if she did, she would end up not only destitute, but ostracised.  As you can imagine, this belief shaped her life quite significantly.  Fortunately not mine.  It was absolutely fixed (no room for change) and encompassed quite a few other aspects of mindset which were not terribly healthy.  You may recognise some of them below.

Let’s look at another belief, one that says that things are largely fixed in the world.  For example, we might believe that someone either has a talent for something or they do not;  that you are good at maths or you are not;  that you are a good sleeper, or an insomniac.  These are examples of mindset.  It’s not about the specific details of what you believe, it’s about the fact that it’s fixed.  It either is, or it isn’t.  When you hear “It is as it is”, that may an example of this particular mindset.  Not surprisingly we call this set of beliefs a “fixed mindset”.

A growth mindset, on the other hand, is one in which you believe that things can change.  So, it would be the belief that we may not have a lot of talent for something, but we can learn and improve, and be successful in it, and that it will be worth the effort.  Or that anyone can learn maths.  It may take longer with some than with others, but most people will be able to learn.  Or that even if we currently have difficulty sleeping, this is not fixed.  There are practices we can put in place which can allow us to sleep.

Attitudes which make up someone’s mindset include these:  looking largely forwards, to the future, or looking mostly backwards to the past.  Judging situations by how they might be in the future, or how they compare with the past.  This will determine what kinds of decisions we make in life.  Looking forwards will take us forwards, planning, seeing what’s possible,  looking back will take us to how things were in the past, making the most of past experiences (it’s not rocket science, is it?).  The point here is not that one is better than the other, but that they will have different effects on the decisions we make, and the direction we head in.  That’s your choice.

Another mindset attitude is whether we look to others to validate what we are thinking and experiencing, or whether we look to ourselves for validation.  We might even take that so far as only ever taking others’ opinions into account, or, conversely, always disregarding what everyone else says and only doing what we think is right.  We call this external (others) or internal (ourselves) referencing.  This aspect of mindset has a huge impact on the decisions we make, obviously, because it determines who we regard as the final arbiter or judge of what is ok or not ok.  Again, it’s not a fixed thing (that would be an example of a fixed mindset, which is not always terribly useful).  Sometimes it’s good to listen to others, sometimes it’s good to ignore them.  But in the end, who makes the decision?  Is it you, or is it the opinion of someone else?  You decide.

Yet another example of mindset is this:  do you tend to focus on what you want to happen, or on avoiding what you don’t want to happen?  It doesn’t matter what the circumstances are, we can often catch ourselves automatically doing one or the other.  That is mindset.  The keyword here is ‘automatically’, as it happens unconsciously without us realising that it is happening.  It means that our thoughts and decisions are going to be based on this mindset, and we might not even know it.  There’s no right or wrong, one mindset (towards or away from) may be more useful than the other, but it really helps to know which one is guiding our thoughts, and how to swap to the other way, every now and again.  Just to check that we are not missing something.

Related to this last example (they are all related, actually) is this one:  When something happens, do you focus on what is bad, wrong, difficult, impossible about it, or on what is good, advantageous, easy, possible?  Do you automatically look at the negative or the positive?  This tends to express itself in us thinking or talking about either the advantages or the disadvantages of the situation.   It leads seamlessly to us focusing on either what I CAN do in any given situation, or on what I CAN’T do.  It doesn’t matter what the situation is, we will find ourselves automatically drifting (or switching instantly) towards one way of thinking or the other.  One mindset or the other.  Of course, this has a huge impact on what we decide to do, and how we feel.  Neither is wrong, and, as always, it’s good to have a look at both mindsets, but one will usually deliver better results than the other.  You choose.

I hope this is giving a flavour of what mindset actually is, and how it influences almost everything we do.  It certainly has a huge impact on the life decisions we make.  There are lots of other examples of different mindsets, and they often appear in pairs, much like the fixed/growth, away from/towards and can’t/can pairings above.  In order to identify some aspects of our mindset, we could ask these questions: 

• Is there some fundamental belief underlying what I am thinking here? Do I want or need to believe this?
• Am I looking backwards or forwards? Would it help to look the other way, just in case I am missing something?
• Am I assuming this situation is fixed? Can something change?  Is growth possible?
• Is this really what I think or feel? Or is it what someone else is thinking, their opinion, what they want (for me?) or am I thinking this just to fit in.  What do I really think and feel?
• Am I looking at what I want to happen or at what I don’t want to happen? Which will take me closer to what I actually do want to happen?
• Am I looking at what I can do in this situation or am I only looking at what I can’t do?

If you are interested in discovering how you can optimise your own mindset to work best for you, I lead you through that in the supported online programme Making Great Life Decisions.  Mindset has a huge impact on whether we make decisions at all, on the kind of decisions we make, and on whether we can carry them out or not.  It’s certainly not an optional add-on!

The programme helps you find purpose and motivation (hugely dependent on mindset!), so you can make great life decisions (I mean good, and big decisions), and then actually carry them out.  It comes with fortnightly group coaching sessions and one-to-ones with me, to make sure you are on track and getting the best out of it.  Let me know if you want more information, or click here:  Making Great Life Decisions.